Interview From 3/19
I first saw thimble’s novel, When Femdom Dreams Come True, while browsing through amazon. I was attracted by the Cover Photo and the description. What i found was something very wonderful: a well-written femdom novel that had developed characters and a strong sense of humor. I spoke to it’s author, thimble, about how he came to write Erotica and what he hopes you get from his stories.
How did you get started writing femdom?
I was always interested in femdom, even before i knew what sex was. I wanted the mean 3rd grade teacher to make me kiss her hair. I always rooted for Cat Woman to defeat Batman. I wanted the mean girls in 8th grade to tie me down and shave my pubic hair. I was always very shy, though, so for the most part my fantasies lived in my head. Eventually, I started writing them down.
I noticed that your stories mostly have strong male characters. I assume that’s intentional?
Yes. I think the dominant trope in femdom writing, where the male is a total loser, is damaging to men who have this kink, because it equates being submissive with being weak, and a lot of us aren’t weak. A lot of subs have successful careers and are normal guys who just want to be told what to do and maybe beaten by someone we love. It’s hard enough when you’re young to go against societal norms and accept that you’re submissive, but when that means identifying as a loser on top of it, that’s too much to ask. As a result, you see a lot of shame and a lot self-inflicted kink-conversion therapy, which doesn’t work.
So you don’t like stories about losers being dominated by strong women?
I don’t personally. If that’s your kink, more power to you. I do think it can be fun to play around with it within a scene, the alpha-woman/loser-male trope. I just think it’s harmful when it’s the only image of submission that people see.
What role does humor play in your stories?
It keeps things light. I think there’s room for fun within bdsm. Life is absurb a lot of the time, and humor helps us deal with that absurdity. Bdsm relationships are like vanilla relationships in the miscommunications and awkwardness that come with being human, and a lot of it is funny.
Are your stories based on real people and real events?
Not real people. Sometimes they have bits and pieces of real people, but they’re fiction. As for events, some of them have happened. For instance, in Training My Professor, Bryn has Taylor tied to the spanking bench, and she taps him with the cane as she’s walking by and casually says, “this is going to hurt.” That happened to me and it was such a mindfuck. It was really great, so I included it. Some of the other scenes are just things that I want to happen but haven’t yet.
What about people who complain about the non-consensual nature of some of your stories?
I grew up with a lot of shame around my kinks. This was pre-internet, and I was in a small town, so I thought I was wrong to want to be dominated. Blackmail or kidnapping fantasies let me engage in my desires without taking responsibility or blame. When you feel guilty for wanting something, that freedom is really enticing, and it can become a kink in its own right.
Also, writing is a safe place for me to explore my shadow desires: those urges I’m not totally comfortable admitting I want, or even things that I know I don’t want but would like to act out within the safety of a scene. The book is that scene.
That said, no one is obligated to like my writing, so if non-consensual is triggering, then not all my books are for you. I don’t think that writing about a subject in a fantasy setting is the same as condoning it in real life, though, as some people believe.
So you’re not advocating for non-consensual blackmail?
I am not.
Are there scenes that are too extreme for you?
Of course. There’s punishment and then there’s torture and torture porn. I’m not into torture or torture porn. There are other activities that are turn-offs for me. But who knows? As I keep exploring and pushing my limits, maybe I’ll become open to things I now consider hard limits. Not torture porn though.
Is there another book on the horizon?
Yes, I’m about a third of the way through a new book, but it’ll take another month or two to get through it. I know what’s going to happen, but I need to figure out how to get there.
And you’ll let us know when it comes out?
You can find all of Thimble’s books on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Thimble/e/B07M9DNKGC/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1